I can’t even look at his profile.

It still hurts.

I don’t even know why.

fuuuuck

I hate my body.

I hate what I do.

I hate that I’m a bitch.

I hate what I think.

I hate what I say.

I hate what I am.

Why can’t I be the me in my head?

Honestly, fuck you.

You are disregarding our friendship for a fucking loser all because he is gay.

At the beginning of the year, you told me that you hated him and found him annoying. That is, you said that until I told you that he was gay. As soon as that fact gleamed, you had to hop on the gay parade because he likes dicks.

And now? He is a fucking dickbag to me and interrupts me and shows no respect for me or anyone else. He is anti-social, I get it, but he isn’t even trying to not be. Everyone in homeroom hates him, but you like him, again, because he is gay.

So, today, I heard him saying, “Maybe I wouldn’t be like that, but she is just mean to me,” and then you yelling, “KEVIN. SHHHH!!” Because I was ahead of you guys. You know that you both have fucking loud mouths so I could hear you.

I’m not fucking stupid, you know that, right?

Honestly, if you’re going to throw away a fucking five and a half year friendship for a fucking idiot, then be my fucking guest.

I was under the impression that you were fake to me like you fake to everyone else.

Fuck fuck you.

I think it’s kind of funny. Almost weird.

2 guys.

Might I add, 2 foreign guys.

2 summers.

the same game.

Let me explain.

Last year, I went to the All Star baseball game with Steve Kearns and while there, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

Tomorrow, I am (hopefully) going to the All Star baseball game with Dan Taylor where I have a strong feeling he will ask me out. That is based on what Nicholas said, “And say yes on Friday. Not to me. To Dan.”

It makes me think.

I start seeing a councilor tomorrow. It can’t be too bad, right? Hopefully Mark Morrow can help me out a bit, you dig?